first days home
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(note: this was written on my laptop while i was still in the hospital. forgive me i ramble or use poor grammar :))
at 1:30 in the morning on sunday, jan 16th i woke up feeling crampy like i had been all week. no big deal, i thought, and i went out into the living room to watch some TV and try to relax. they were not going away, so i started pacing in circles around the living room, hoping that by moving around they would go away. they still didn't go away, but weren't killing me so i laid back down to try and sleep. nope, back on my feet pacing. this was the pattern for the next 2.5 hours with multiple potty breaks in between. by 4:00 they STILL had not gone away. i called my doctor, and he told me to get to the hospital. i woke mark up and said "this is it!" but little did we know how close we actually were :)
we both got up and got ready, not really in too much of a rush. my "cramps" were getting worse, and a couple of times i had to stop what i was doing and rest to feel better. we were in the car by 4:30, and at first i told mark to drive slow since the bumps were not making me feel good. halfway over the longport bridge i said FORGET IT START SPEEDING. i needed to get out of that car! we finally got to the hospital and parked. it took me a really long time to get to the door since i kept having to stop and bend over. i finally started realizing that these might not be cramps. at 4:45 we went in to the ER since everything else was deserted. they offered me a wheelchair, which i declined (WHY!?!?) and a security guard led us up to the maternity ward. i thought i was going to fall over in the elevator (that wheelchair was starting to sound really good).
we get upstairs and checked in at the nurses station and they take me to my room. i immediate strip (sorry, everyone) and get into my gown. even though it was the middle of january i still felt like i was going to pass out from the heat. i even made mark turn on the AC. a very nice and patient nurse came in to ask me questions and check my cervix while i got up and down from the bed every 5 seconds trying to find relief from the pain and heat.
when she checked my cervix, she was unable to "find" it and had to call another nurse in to check too. the 2nd nurse checked and said i was fully dilated (!!!) and the baby was coming now (!!!)!!! they wheeled me into another room and hooked me up to an IV. another very nice and patient nurse was getting all my information which seemed to be about 238754 questions worth. if i ever run into her i will be sure to apologize for my rudeness but hello lady, i am in the middle of a contraction and you are asking me the same 5 questions worded differently LEAVE ME ALONE! but i digress...and poor mark at this point is notably freaked out and i am not helping by being mean to him too. he was so great though and aside from trying to make me laugh a little too much, he was wonderfully supportive and i am so glad he was able to be there by my side.
so i guess it was around 5-5:15 at this point and all of a sudden my body said PUSH! i told the nurse, i have to push now, and she told me to wait (!!!) for the doctor to get there first. uhh, sorry lady, i can't. so i pushed anyway. i couldn't not do it, the pushing relieved my contractions and was the natural reaction to what my body was telling me. i can't imagine fighting that urge.
so i pushed and pushed and poor mark fed me ice chip after ice chip. eventually the doctor got there and after pushing with him for a little while i was eventually given an episiotomy. more pushing, more pushing, and i looked at mark and said i can't. it felt like she was stuck in there and was never coming out. he squeezed my hand and said yes you can. so back to it: more pushing and more pushing. i thought my whole insides were going to come out but then all of a sudden: relief. and then, a cry. she was here! finally here!
the doctor (or nurses, i don't remember) laid her on my chest and i kissed her and i cried i couldn't believe she was here! she could only sit with me for a minute before the nurses had to clean her off and suction out the meconium she swallowed (ew). i yelled to mark - get the camera! haha. i laugh at this now. with everything that was going on i still wanted to make sure we got pictures right away. while that was going on the doctor helped me push out the afterbirth and got me all stitched up. mark held my hand and kissed my forehead. not 40 minutes later she was back in my arms. i could not take my eyes off of her. i was (still am) in love.
thank you, Lord for our little baby girl. thank you for trusting us with one of your children, and for filling our hearts with more love than we ever thought possible. thank you for loving us, God, and for blessing mark and i so abundantly. words will never be able to describe how grateful we are! praise You!
january 16, 2011
6 lbs, 7 oz
20 inches long
love at first sight
we both look so sleepy! well, all three of us do :)
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